Wednesday, November 2, 2011

state of confusion

it has been a while...

i found myself with no more  time now to sit down properly to read blogs..

even wif rare moments where i am able to get back hm early, sometimes i cant even bear to spend time in front of my laptop for fear of time dwindling away.. like what i am doing now.. 3 hours juz flew by like tat and i feel as if i have not accomplished anything..

i am beginning to wonder if the jump has been worth it..

i rem how ecstatic i had felt when i cld get into this com.. it was ALMOST like a dream come true.. to be in touch with an industry that i reali reali love.. to learn about products that i love..

up till today, i do enjoy e knowledge that i have gained along e way.. not about the work actually but abt the products im dealing with.. knowing more on how supply chain sector has worked for this type of industry.. to certain extent, this experience will benefit me in many ways.. which is why im still convincing myself everyday to stay on.. to struggle.. no matter how imbalanced my life has become..

its v fast paced.. i cannot deny it... but i always pride myself as someone who can survive in any environment.. even until now i believe in surviving no matter how bad the environment is.. although when i hit the down period, i am reali down... a lot of emotion fluctuation in this job is involved.. the risk of not jeopardising a new launch.. or not buying enough for some products.. or even creating the wrong cover days which nearly led my boss into major despair.. my mistakes overwhelmed mi... i took the blame very badly such that i cldnt get out of it for nearly the entire month...

gradually im starting to tink if it is worth it... to be occupied constantly by one million and one thousand things to submit every week... even when it comes to planning for a holiday, there are so many blocked days that i cant allow myself to go on leave.. needing my frens to accomodate to the dates etc etc etc..
yaa, indeed, where is the work life balance...

i grew more and more bad tempered... such tat ppl had to bear the brunt of my temper especially the close ones.. even frens that i have never reali flared in front of them, i flared and i cried...

frens told mi to measure myself.. frankly i dunno how to measure anymore.. there are times i reali love tis job and i noe there will always b ppl to tell mi you can never find 100% satisfaction in any job.. and its even more difficult to find a job that you love.. however i love the office environment i am in.. the surroundings i am in right now until the official move which i am dreading... but i love the perks that come along wif tis job.. i like it tat i noe what ppl are talking abt when they talk abt makeup... i like dressing nicely to work (yes, v shallow but believe mi, i have never dress nicely to work since my first job until now.. somehow it gives mi a moment of pride..)

so you will wondering right now what exactly is bothering mi.. 工作也有本难念的经...

if you have seen how long since i have blogged, this is how busy i have been until my brain cells are all dead for a more creative post...

And even longer since i indulged myself wif self-absorbed photo taking T_T